I’m from the North.

From the Baltics. Usually considered the Eastern Europe and ever striving to line up with Scandinavia. But the story is not about that; today I write about the mentalities.

Given the gloomy winters, dewy and thunderous autumns,  clear and bird song filled springs followed by pure but sorely short summers, we work hard in summers to ensure safety and certainty to survive the winters. The clarity needed is coming out in every aspect of life, and you will find Nordic people being straight forward, sometimes even harsh when saying things how they stand rather than adapt to everyone else’s views.

Clarity of thought expressed directly in the speech is only one side of the crystal clear way of life. We may be polite, but rather concise with small but trusted group of people; we trust, but we only trust in those closer to us. We trust in our work, and rely only on what we achieve.

When travelling to Turkey, hitchhiking through southern coast of Spain on my way to Portugal, Coimbra, the two being southern countries of Europe, and Turkey usually considered as the southern non-Europe, one can not but come across the obvious difference in mentality of the game. The game and the risk taking.

Walking the streets of Sevilla in Spain and later Coimbra in Portugal, you see lottery kiosks on every corner. And contrary to what I naturally believed in before, it is not a game for elderly trying to keep themselves occupied. Indeed, men of all ages and income levels seem to find the lottery entertaining and are filling the tickets continuously. Risk is part of the life in the South; in Turkey men play okey in coffee houses to shorten time and of course, win the bet.

Risk aversion is exclusive and luxurious, according to some writers. Bringing the preferences of risky mindset either in investing, playing a game or being a minimalist and owning less, there is a connection. Yes, to afford to be ensured with less, one has to be either backed up with safe place or just mind(less), insane if you like. But even more ridiculous is to think that minimalism is only about things we do and choose not to have. I agree to Snehal – the core is the simple mindset. Period.

Coming back to North and South, to work and play, to safety and risk, daring or affording, you choose. To risk or not to; save or play; to freelance or work nine to five. The only thing you have to afford is to believe in yourself. Not more. SBecause, you see, we live in times where surviving the winter is as simple as taking a flight to south. Everything i up to you.

Dare to live.


The Flow

One year ago, starting the blog I kept up for about a week and no more I never imagined where my life would unfold in the following  year. And let me telly you that no, this is not pre-New Years Eve post looking back at the accomplishments and success of the past calendary year. Rather a story of expanding horizons.abstract-paint-texture-3-1.jpg

You see, the reason of naming blog EstSee meaning Estonian See (or Seeing Estonia), was my goal to survive the Northern winter with a hope and goal to travel around Estonia, my new home country, discovering ts rural  charm, meeting masters of traditional craft and swelling in Estonian culture, the one of past.

A year later, October 2017 I had not only travelled throughout Estonia (and abandoned the blog),but also gone to Hungary, felt in love, come back, gone through the hardest heartbreak, launched another blog (even more depressed), finished exams, gone to Turkey on Ramadan, worked on a dangerously beautiful but bizzare Isle of Sark for the whole summer feeling like in a nightmare, and met the most wonderful people when hitchhiking to Portugal from the North of France.

Needless to say, moving to the smallest of the three Baltic States was only beginning to  my self exploration initiating the new life and the ultimate dream. Now with my backpack on, pseudo laptop, camera and postcards from my ever the best friend with whom I shared school desk for twelve years I am free and capable to go wherever I want. Nothing can stop you, except for you.



See New Latvian Movie: Chronicles of Melanie


Waking up when as military officers are getting into your house and being told to leave your home forever in couple of hours. It is a painful story kept out from everyday life, story that one would try to forget forever, also my grandparents. Overwhelming and unthinkably real, that is many people’s story of Soviet Union times.


Here a short history class is needed. As Soviet Union was enormous in terms of territory as well as nationally diverse, it was convenient for government to deport middle and upper class  property owners,  move them across whole Union to deprive any chance for nationalists to hold together and rebel.

Though both Estonia and Latvia have experienced deportations, recent movie The Chronicles of Melanie is Latvian made and gives a great sight on woman who is put in a train, driven to Siberia and left to survive with nothing but child and mother to care for.  And when the chance to break out of mud comes.. .Emotionally striking, slightly melancholic but at the same time surprisingly inspirational – it is absolutely worth watching.



Director Viesturs Kairišs


Darkness Calmness


I am up in at nigh and asleep when daylight strikes. Be it depression or winter mood, living in North makes you to live by the rules of nature.

You see, its just a way it is when living at night. Darkness is around, darkness goes into yourself, and you feel calm. Blessing and easiness of loosened boundaries, and warmness of silence at blurred night opposing few sharp moments of light are reasons behind my love for November.


But when you get enough of it, the light eventually comes to be far reaching as it has an influence over everyday choices. Coming out of our deepest depths we choose to move towards light in every possible chance. You suddenly find yourself wandering around windows, loving your coffee to be drank with sunrise and validating every little spark of light, even if it is only reflection of mirror, reflection of man.

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